He Spoke To The Sad Kids
Elliott Smith’s nickname was Mr Misery, and his lyrics and singing style made it clear that he was not a happy young man. But he spoke to the “sad kids” and his fan base grew and grew. Sadly, fame didn’t make Smith any happier—and he began an unforgettable downward spiral.
Even today, his diehard fans can’t seem to forget him, or the conspiracy theories that continue to swarm around the events of his brutal and shocking passing. 
1. He Had Little Time
On August 6, 1969, little Steven Paul Smith came into this world in Omaha, Nebraska. Almost right out of the gates, his family experienced a dramatic rift. Just six months after his birth, his parents divorced, and he moved with his mother to Duncanville, Texas. But life in Texas was not going to be easy.
2. He Went To Church
Smith’s life in Texas changed quickly as he now had a new stepfather, Charlie Welch. The family now attended a church called the Community of Christ, but Smith saw little reason to go. He later said that he didn’t buy into organized religion. In spite of having religion in the family, there was something extremely disturbing going on in the Welch household.
Pashtun Ismailiyya, Wikimedia Commons
3. He Had Inappropriate Contact
Much later, in some of his songs, Smith referred to the possibility that his stepfather was behaving inappropriately toward him. In 2004, his girlfriend said that Smith was dealing with traumatic things from his childhood, which she refused to give details about.
One thing was clear—Smith did not like Texas.
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4. He Had A Strange Tattoo
Most people choose tattoos of things that they like. Smith was different. He got a tattoo of the Texas map on his arm, and he later made it clear that it was not because he liked Texas. Instead, he'd chosen the design for the "opposite" reason: He didn't like it much at all. However, the tattoo was there so he wouldn’t forget the emotional pain he experienced there.
Thankfully, Smith had music to help him forget his problems.
5. His Song Won A Prize
At the age of nine, Smith took up the piano, and the next year he started with the guitar. It was the piano that got him his first taste of fame. He won a prize at a festival for his original piece he called, “Fantasy”. As it turned out, one of Smith’s greatest fantasies was getting the heck out of Texas.
Elliott Smith - Angeles (piano), heavypiano
6. He Made A Big Move
When still a teenager, Smith made the decision to leave his mother and stepfather and go live with his father in Portland, Oregon. While this was a step forward—he wouldn’t be near his stepfather after all—it ended up being a step backward as well. It was at this time that he started delving into the dangerous world of substance use.
On a positive note, though, he did start recording music.
7. He Flourished
In Portland, Smith shone at high school with his talent for music. He played clarinet, guitar, and piano. Outside of high school, he joined two bands: Stranger Than Fiction and A Murder of Crows. Once it was time to graduate, Smith saw the need for a name change. The reason for this is still an unsolved mystery.
8. He Wasn’t A Jock Or A Nerd
Once he left high school, Smith changed his name from Steven Smith to Elliott Smith. We know he didn’t like “Steve” because it was reminiscent of a jock’s name, and “Steven” because it sounded too much like a nerd's name. But where did Elliott come from? It was either the street where he lived in Portland, Elliott Avenue, or from his pseudonym “Elliott Stillwater-Rotter”. Or there may have been a completely different reason.
9. He Was Under Her Influence
Around this time, Smith had a girlfriend and some say she suggested the name Elliott. But this young woman did more than suggest a name. She advised him to enroll in university, which he did. Smith chose Hampshire College in Amherst, Massachusetts, and they accepted him. The funny thing was, he and his girlfriend broke up before he even had the chance to attend a single class.
With his diploma in hand, Smith was ready to start his professional career. Well…that didn’t happen.
Jared Benedict, Wikimedia Commons
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10. He Kneaded Dough
Smith eventually graduated with a degree in philosophy and legal theory. Instead of working as a philosopher, he got a job in a bakery back in Portland. Besides working in the bakery, Smith continued with a band he’d started in Massachusetts. This was Heatmiser, and they’d soon signed on to Frontier Records.
Their future looked bright—but there was trouble on the horizon.
11. She Told Him What To Do
With Heatmiser, Smith made two albums and an EP for Frontier and then signed on to Virgin Records for the album Mic City Sons. But Smith was soon under the influence of another girlfriend. Smith had recorded some solo material, and she urged him to submit it and maybe start a solo career.
Smith reluctantly sent his solo songs to Cavity Search Records. He had no idea what to expect.
12. He Broke It Up
The folks at Cavity Search Records loved Smith’s solo work. In fact, they wanted to release the entire album. They called it Roman Candle, and the success of this solo album was great for Smith. Who it wasn’t great for was Heatmiser. It caused the band to break up.
It was time to see what Smith could do entirely on his own.
13. He Had To Explain
In 1995, Smith released an album simply called Elliott Smith. Some showed surprise that some of the lyrics mentioned substance use. Smith was quick to explain that he was simply singing about dependence and not about actual substances. Regardless, this was not a happy-sounding album.
Even the cover portrayed a profoundly dark image.
14. He Was Not A Happy Camper
The cover of Elliott Smith features a photograph of bodies falling from a building. While the building is not exactly a skyscraper, the image certainly does suggest taking one’s life. Also, the lyrics didn’t exactly portray a person exuding joy, Elliott seemed to be making a point to tell his listeners that all was not okay.
For his next album, he’d try a little harder to not be so depressing.
15. He Tried To Be Happy
On his next album, Smith seemed intent on being a little cheerier, but he wasn’t so good at it. He took the title—Either/Or—from a book by Soren Kierkegaard. In the book, Kierkegaard says that artists often end up in “a state of despair”. Some thought that Smith was crying out for help.
But you didn't need to read between the lines, Smith was actually quite upfront about how he was feeling.
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16. He Made It Obvious
In the late 1990s, Smith was making the move from Portland, Oregon to Brooklyn, New York. When it came time to say goodbye to his friends, Smith said something that deeply disturbed them. He explained that this would likely be the last time they ever saw him. His reason why? Because there was a good chance he'd end up taking his own life.
This worried those who knew Smith, and they took drastic action.
17. There Was An Intervention
Clearly, Smith was not happy. He started taking antidepressants and mixed them with heavy drinking. His friends took note and, because of their concern, organized an intervention. Let’s just say, it did not go well. Smith bitterly unleashed his feelings through music, and has been quoted saying, "...the nerve people have to go parading around as if they know what somebody else ought to do with themselves".
But they were right to worry. Smith was not well at all.
18. He Took Tremendous Risk
In 1997, Smith showed his producer, Larry Crane, something shocking. He lifted up his shirt and showed Crane a rather severe scar on his chest. If this wasn’t eerie enough, Smith shared another tidbit of his strange personal life with a different friend—that he had a dangerous habit of strolling along subway tracks alone at night.
In spite of his depressed state, or maybe because of it, Smith’s career continued to soar.
19. He Hit Hollywood
In 1997, being a past resident of Portland paid off. Director Gus Van Sant—also from Portland—wanted Smith on the soundtrack of his newest film. Smith wrote and performed “Miss Misery” for Good Will Hunting which starred newcomers—and future mega stars—Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
Smith was heading for Hollywood.
Miramax, Good Will Hunting (1997)
20. He Got The Nod
Good Will Hunting was a huge success, and this success bled over to Smith. “Miss Misery” received an Academy Award Nomination for best song. Of course, all the songs nominated are traditionally performed at the ceremony. Smith had no intention of singing in front of millions of viewers and told the Academy that he wouldn’t do it.
Then they did something to change his mind.
Miramax, Good Will Hunting (1997)
21. He Didn’t Want To Do It
The Academy told Smith that it was okay if he didn’t want to perform “Miss Misery” at the ceremony, but there was just one caveat. They would have to get someone else to perform in his place. It seemed that Smith did not want to hear another artist sing his material, so he agreed to hit the stage.
It proved to be a surreal night.
Miss Misery - Elliott Smith Live At the Oscars [Remastered Audio], Helsinki
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22. He Was Up There With The Stars
At the Oscars that night, Smith performed “Miss Misery," and we can only imagine his feelings about who came before and after him. These were two singers of a very different style to Smith’s: pop ballad icons Celine Dion and Michael Bolton. There was no win for Smith that night, as Dion’s song for Titanic took home the trophy.
Smith had a few interesting words about what it was like to bask in the spotlight on the Oscars stage.
23. He Kept It Brief
At the Academy Awards, Smith had to edit his song down to just two minutes. Reflecting on his brief time on stage, Smith said, "The Oscars was a very strange show...and the audience was a lot of people who didn't come to hear me play. I wouldn't want to live in that world, but it was fun to walk around on the moon for a day".
He may have stayed away from Hollywood, but there was only drama in his future.
Miss Misery - Elliott Smith Live At the Oscars [Remastered Audio], Helsinki
24. He Hit Rock Bottom
Close to the end of 1999, Smith's drug problem had gotten worse. His bad habits now included even riskier substances—and the rumor mill was utterly ruthless. People not only claimed that he couldn’t perform well, but they also said that he struggled to remember his lyrics. Worse still, one rumor purported that he'd been discovered in a public washroom with a needle still inserted into his arm.
It was time for Smith to get some much-needed help.
25. He Tried To Quit
In 2002, there were signs that Smith had begun to surface from the black abyss of his addictions. He tried something called neurotransmitter restoration at a center in Beverly Hills—a form of holistic therapy. On top of this, many believed that his new girlfriend, Jennifer Chiba, also improved his disposition. Chiba was turning out to be a godsend.
26. They Helped Each Other
Chiba was a member of the punk band, Happy Ending. Smith toured with the band as his opening act. He also paid for a lot of things the band needed, even their first single. It seemed like a perfect relationship. Smith was helping Chiba and her band, and Chiba shored up Smith's dark moods.
But something more insidious may have been happening behind the scenes.
The Happy Endings Band live @ the Adelphi 9-24-10’, Lucid Soul Dreamtime Films
27. He Was Difficult To Work With
Org Records had plans to release Happy Ending’s single but the owner—Sean Organ—said that it was a very difficult session. He said that Smith wasn’t at all easy to work with and was still struggling with his issues. It seemed that Chiba got stuck in the middle as Smith battled it out with the rest of the band.
But Organ had even more upsetting news about Smith.
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28. He Had Mood Swings
Organ said that Smith seemed to be having mood swings. Phone calls he received from Smith vacillated between absolute praise for Happy Ending’s song and then calling it "rubbish". This could have been a signal of Smith’s unbalanced life, or it could just be what it’s like to be a sensitive artist.
But perhaps the worst possibility of all? Maybe Smith hadn’t truly kicked his drug habit.
29. They Made A Comparison
While some idealized Smith’s relationship with Chiba, others saw it as something else. Some say it was more like a "Sid and Nancy" situation. This referred to the turbulent relationship between punk legend Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen. Spungen’s life came to a violent end at the hands of Vicious.
As we'll see, fate had a dark plan in store for Smith too.
Watal Asanuma/Shinko Music, Getty Images
30. She Was No Help
Chiba and Smith's romance may have been more twisted than it seemed. Some claimed that both of them indulged in illicit substances when they partied, enabling one another's addictions. This was no fairy tale love story—it was actually a horror story. And, like most horror stories, it had an extremely tragic ending.
31. They Had An Argument
Just before lunch on October 21, 2003, Smith and Chiba had an aggressive argument in their home in Echo Park, California. During the argument, Smith told Chiba he was going to take his own life. You could assume that Chiba didn’t take his threat seriously, as she walked away from Smith and went into the bathroom for a shower.
What happened next was so chilling—it's unforgettable.
32. She Heard Him Scream
Chiba had locked herself in the bathroom and was getting ready to take a shower. From behind the bathroom door, she heard a loud sound. She soon realized it was Smith, and he was screaming. She immediately knew it was something serious, so she came out to see if Smith was okay.
She could not have imagined what she was about to see.
33. She Got The Shock Of Her Life
Chiba came out of the bathroom and got the shock of her life. At first, all she could see was Smith's back, but when he twisted around, a chilling scene unfolded: a kitchen blade protruded from his chest. A horrified Chiba grabbed the blade and yanked it free. She then called for an ambulance.
It was a race to the hospital to save Smith’s life.
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34. He Left A Note
Smith did make it to the hospital, but sadly he passed just 20 minutes after he arrived. In the meantime, someone located a note written by Smith. In it, he'd scrawled, "I'm so sorry—love, Elliott. God forgive me". From what authorities could tell, Smith had taken his own life. But soon people started asking questions.
They weren’t sure if Smith had actually taken his own life or if it was something far more malevolent.
35. He Had His Reasons
Of course, there had been many reasons to believe that Smith had taken his own life. First of all, there was his dark music and lyrics which pointed directly toward depression. There were also times when he flat-out told his friends that he would take his own life one day—not to mention his worrisome addiction problems.
However, there was one detail about Smith's sad end that didn't quite make sense.
36. He Was Clean
Some blame Smith’s tragedy on his substance use, but here, the facts don't really add up. Steve Hanft—who was working on a film with Smith—claimed that Smith was totally clean at the time. In fact, the coroner didn't find any illicit substances in his system, just the prescribed medications he was using.
Even the way Smith ended his life raised suspicion.
37. It Was A Weird Way To Go
First off, some say that stabbing yourself in the chest is a really uncommon way to end your own life. Yes, it’s uncommon, but it does happen. And don’t forget, Smith had had a scar on his chest before, causing some to speculate whether he’d tried to stab himself in the past.
But there was something also suspicious about the way he handled the knife.
38. He Didn't Hesitate
Some believe that if you're going to go through the horrendous ordeal of stabbing yourself, you usually have to work up the nerve to do it. In most cases, this would appear as hesitation wounds. This would be the first few tries at putting the blade to your chest. In Smith's case, there were no hesitation wounds at all.
And that wasn't the only thing that seemed fishy.
39. He May Have Been Fighting
Yes, Smith had no hesitation wounds, but he did have something called "possible defensive wounds". These are marks on the body that suggest that the victim was fighting off an attacker. Smith had small lacerations beneath his right arm and on his right and left hand. If Smith had put up some kind of fight, who was it against?
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40. She Was A Suspect
The first suspect would have to be Smith’s girlfriend Chiba. After all, she was the only other person in the house. Also, wasn’t it weird that she removed the knife from his body which then complicated finding out who had done the stabbing? To make matters worse, some say that Chiba clammed up after the incident. She wasn’t talking to anyone about what happened.
But Chiba has her own answers to these accusations.
41. She Respected His Privacy
Chiba has denied the claim that she was not communicating with authorities. She frames it as a respect for Smith’s privacy. According to her, she and Smith’s family all know what happened that night and that was all that mattered. But this isn’t entirely true.
42. They Disagreed
Five days after Chiba made her statement, the Smith family contradicted her. They said that they, in fact, don’t know exactly what happened. The family made a statement basically saying that anyone who says that they know what happened is not correctly characterizing what the family is aware of.
But it wasn't just the Smith family who looked at Chiba with suspicion.
43. They Are Angry
One thing's for sure, Smith fans have not given up on finding the culprit. A good number of Smith lovers continue to point fingers at Chiba to this day. In the wake of Smith's demise, Chiba's band Happy Ending had a website, but it had to be taken down. There were too many angry Smith fans letting her know that her days were numbered.
But though Chiba has maintained her innocence, the true events of that night will forever be a mystery. And wherever uncertainty remains, conspiracy theories thrive.
44. There Was Another Theory
Another theory was that Smith passed at the hands of dealers. If he really wasn't clean, then he was having to meet up with “lowlife scum” as Mark Flannigan—owner of a Hollywood club—put it. But that would mean that these vicious dealers rushed in just as Chiba went into the shower. It seems a little far-fetched.
45. He Felt Pain
Remember Smith’s problems went back to his stepfather and the alleged mistreatment Smith said he received from him. Smith even told Spin magazine that it was only music that stopped him from going after his stepfather. Maybe the pain became too much, and Smith reached his breaking point.
But amid all of these unanswered questions, his story still wasn't over—the money he left behind sparked a brand new drama.
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46. She Came Back
In 2004, Chiba headed to court, believing that Smith’s estate owed her money. She said that she had lived with Smith as his wife and that she had been his manager. She wanted 15% of his earnings, which would have been over $1 million. But she did not get the outcome she desired: The court gave her absolutely nothing.
Aside from the money, Smith also left behind something far more valuable—a vast and varied array of musicians who he would continue to influence.
Tingey Injury Law Firm, Unsplash
47. He Left A Legacy
We may never know what happened that fateful last night of Smith’s life, but we do know that Smith influenced a generation of singers and songwriters. The list of performers who found inspiration in Smith's work or covered his music includes Frank Ocean, Sufjun Stevens, Billie Eilish, Beck, Madonna, and many more.
This leads us to another question: Who inspired Smith?
48. He Was A Fan
First and foremost, Smith was a fan of the Beatles and said The White Album made him want to be a musician. To honor his heroes, Smith got to cover their song “Because” for the popular film American Beauty starring Annette Bening. Smith also admired Bob Dylan, Pink Floyd, and the Clash.
But some see the clearest connection between Smith and this next artist.
Boer, Poppe de, Wikimedia Commons
49. He Had A Kindred Spirit
Some people compare Smith’s music to Nick Drake’s. After all, they both had a similar fingerpicking style and Drake was also not one to shy away from sadness in his music. Smith said that his favorite Drake album was Pink Moon. Another similarity is their early departure from this world. Drake took his own life when he was just 26 years old.
Like Drake, fans will not forget Smith anytime soon.
Keith Morris, Wikimedia Commons
50. They Can’t Forget
On LA’s Sunset Boulevard, there’s a memorial to Smith. This is at the precise location that is featured on the cover of Smith’s album Figure 8. At the time, fans came out to share their grief, setting up photos, flowers, and candles. Even today, people still scrawl messages on the wall.
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